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Worries are for Suckers! Are They?

Are you the type of person who stays up way too late running through all the bad things that happened during the day and stressing out about what could go wrong tomorrow? It’s OK if you are. A lot of us are like that, especially those of us who have been seriously hurt in love.

BUT just because you have faced hardship in the past doesn’t mean you’re destined to repeat your mistakes in the future. In fact, it can mean just the opposite!

The most important thing to do if you want to purge yourself from worries is to be honest about what you’re really worried about. Then, you can start to pivot your mindset to turn your concerns into actionable steps that can help you feel less stressed and anxious.

When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn …

Don’t get me wrong. You can’t completely avoid worrying. I’m not even going to pretend that it’s possible to get through life without having some worries. In fact, I’ll argue just the opposite and take it a step further by saying there are actually some benefits to worrying.

Worrying can force you to take action. Let’s think about how worrying impacts our health. For example, if you’re worried about getting Covid-19, that worry can push you to get vaccinated and be extra diligent about sanitizing your hands and wearing a mask. If you’re worried about getting into an accident, you’ll be more motivated to be a safe driver and get proper car insurance. You get the picture.

When it comes to life, worrying prepares you for some worst-case scenarios, so you’re not caught off guard. It’s why you lock your doors at night and teach kids the lesson of “stranger danger.”

In love, worrying can protect your heart, so you’re prepared for disappointments and relationships gone wrong. You might be more likely to look out for red flags and be pickier about who you do (and don’t) go on dates with.

You can take my word for it on worrying about love. I used to be a professional worrier. I’ve spent my entire life thus far worrying about things that might or might not happen, methodically planning for plans B, C, D, E, F, etc.

The reality is that, often, life takes us to places we hardly expect. Yes, I’m talking about plan Z! Unfortunately, I didn’t come up with plan Z when I got married. My plan A was to live a happily married life with kids. Instead, plan Z took me to a life of singledom at an age when I didn’t expect to be single. While it might not be my idea of a perfect life, plan Z has turned out to be peaceful. I’m living a pretty darn good life, now that I’ve acclimated to my “new normal.”

As I grow older, I can finally understand what Forrest Gump’s mama (played by Sally Field) meant when she told him:

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

The point is, life is a series of small events. No matter how hard you try to predict how things are going to go, you never really know what’s going to happen until it happens. So, while it’s good to prepare your mindset for the unexpected, your time is better spent doing things you love with the people you care about right now. Don’t waste your time fussing about things (such as fate) that you really can’t control.


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