So, who am I to tell you what steps you need to take to heal from a breakup?
 
It's a fair question.
 
Let me back up a little bit so you can get to know me better.

A COLLEGE DROPOFF
 
At the age of 19, after recovering from a peptic ulcer that kept me in pain for years, I dropped out of college in Bangkok, Thailand, leaving my sheltered life behind. I had a one-way ticket to New York City and no plans to look back. Finally, my life was going to begin!
 
While my newly found freedom tasted oh-so-good, as a young, naïve Thai girl, my humble beginning in the Big Apple resembled anything BUT what I'd seen on "Sex and the City." 
 
Even though English wasn't my first language, I was well-versed in reading people's expressions and undertones. So, without understanding exactly why, I knew a stranger's cry of "Chinky, go home!" when he saw me on the street wasn't welcoming.
 
This event unnerved me. How could my simple existence cause such hatred in the heart of someone who didn't even know me?

A NOMAD
 
Still determined to make it in the city, I struggled to find affordable housing, moving from one sublet apartment to another. Sometimes I ended up on a friend's couch, which looked like a suite at the Ritz.
 
I then got back on my feet only to date a man I later found out was already married. I spent too much time homeless, not knowing where I would sleep at night. During those early days in New York, I was as broke as I was broken.
 
And still, I stayed. Amidst all the chaos and turmoil, I knew I was destined for a life of love, happiness, comfort, and, most importantly, stability.
 
The holiday seasons were the hardest. I watched families and lovers with envious eyes as they reunited and celebrated. Meanwhile, I was all by myself binge eating Ramen noodles in my tiny little shoebox, hiding from the world. I refused to go back to Thailand until I was able to prove to all the naysayers who had insulted me about dropping out of college that I could make it on my own here.
 
A REDEMTION

I met my ex-husband a few years after moving to New York. He was everything I'd dreamed of—good-hearted, handsome, established, well-mannered. He talked me into going back to school. So, I did it to make him proud. He proposed soon after my MBA graduation, and I said "yes!"
 
I thought I had it all—a big, beautiful home, a thriving career in Silicon Valley, and the security of a good man to come home to at night. I was living my version of the American Dream I'd heard so much about.

AND THEN SH!T HAPPENED.

Fast forward to a few years later, and this American Dream was no longer mine. I found myself living behind my husband's shadow instead of walking through life alongside him. His accomplishments and dreams were at the forefront of our marriage, not ours, not at all mine. That realization slowly ate away the vibrant woman who had been living inside me. After I suffered a miscarriage, we grew even further apart as we'd been battling his alcoholic addiction. Divorce was inevitable. I decided to walk away from my marriage with nothing. Yes... nothing, but my two pet rabbits and a frozen embryo because there's no price tag for my happiness and sanity.

MY NEW BEGINNING

It took me over two decades, a boatload of tears, and countless heartbreaks to finally understand that I don't need the security of a man (or anyone!) to be happy. I am complete, strong, and capable of standing on my own. The hole I'd always felt inside my heart could only be filled by ME, not a man. I now recognize that all the adventures, struggles, pain, and suffering I've been through have been leading to this moment, this life. 

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

I'm writing this bio from my new suburban home, living as the head (and only) member of my childless household. This was never my dream. It was so far from my goal that I had never even considered this as a potential reality.

And yet, to my surprise, I am genuinely happy, carefree, purposeful, and at peace. I've built financial security by working at a company out of Silicon Valley for the last ten years. I'm surrounded by love from my friends and family. I finally recognize my purpose as a divorce coach, helping others navigate the scary and isolating path of recovering from a breakup or divorce. I've been able to help my clients heal and gain the courage to transition into their new normals with confidence.

This is my new beginning, and I'm ready to greet it with open arms.

Are you ready to discover your new beginning?

Let's get started!