Don't Make These 5 Common Mistakes While Getting a Divorce!
By Pav Lertjitbanjong
When people get married, they usually intend to stay for the long haul. Unfortunately, reality gets in the way. Making up your mind to get a divorce can be hard, especially when you have children. People in this situation make a number of common mistakes that make the process harder than it should be. Here are the mistakes to avoid when you need to get divorced.
1 Moving out right away
Once you make up your mind that you're parting ways, you may want to get off to a quick start and move out immediately. This may not be a good idea, however. It would be a better idea to simply move to a different room in the house, or perhaps to the basement. You should do this at least as long as it takes to get the courts to issue a separation agreement. Staying put can be especially helpful when you're in joint custody of the children. When you leave your place and begin to see the children only on the weekends, the courts may not be inclined to change the arrangement.
2 Don't get emotional
As hard as it may be, you need to set your negative emotions aside. It would be the only way to be fair to the children. Stubbornly refusing visitation, trying to show your spouse's new partner in a bad light in front of the children, damaging your spouse's belongings -- all these reflect poorly on you when your case goes to court. Whatever you do, you need to step back and think about how your actions will affect your separation or divorce case. The courts do expect everyone to separate peacefully and get along nicely. You wouldn't want to act against the wishes of the court.
3 Don't decide to spend everything
It's a common urge -- filled with anger at separation, one spouse kicks the other out, then uses everything in the bank to go shopping with a vengeance. It isn't a good idea, because the money is common property. Whatever you spend out of your marital funds, you owe it back to your spouse. The courts will make sure of that.
4 Venting your anger on social media
If you see your Facebook relationships as your friendships, you may feel like going online and venting about how unfair your divorce is, about how you dislike your spouse and so on. Courts look for proof to see reasonable behavior on both sides, however. If you demonstrate anger and other negative traits, it could impact your ability to obtain joint custody.
5 Taking the children on a trip without permission
It doesn't matter that you are the children's parent -- if you're taking them on a trip, you need to inform the other parent and obtain permission. If you decide to take your children away without permission, the courts could decide that you are too unstable or angry to be focused on the children.
Even if you do plan to ask permission, you need to give your spouse enough time to consider the plan. If you ask for permission at the last minute, and your spouse declines you, may not even have enough time to go to court to obtain permission.
Whether you're planning separation or are newly separated, it's a good idea to talk to a good lawyer before you make any major moves. When it's something the courts are involved in, you can't do things by gut and intuition. You need professional advice.